My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I die, sorry about rent.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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