sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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