how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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