my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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