I'm lost and stupid without you.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
