i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
