My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found puke in my bra..
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
