I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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