Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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