I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
