The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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