if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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