All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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