??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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