I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize