Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drake has all the answers
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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