i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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