So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
