I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize