you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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