I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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