what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
