im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
