so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
