Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
