I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize