yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize