My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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