you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
