i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
