I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
