Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
