so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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