By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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