my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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