I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize