I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
