where am i from again
Do vagina's smell?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
