why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
