Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
