im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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