2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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