Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
