his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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