all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
