Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well most of my day revolves around power hour
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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