Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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