Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
