do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
40s are totally the cure
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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