check it out our google latitudes are spooning
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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