you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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