So drunk its hurt
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dicks are not precious.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
