Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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