She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
