This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
