i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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