i just had sex bonerless
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize