oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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