But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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