I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
