he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
