I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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