At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
