As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
