There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
