i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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