I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
